a paradox of sadness and joy

how difficult it is to hold joy and sadness at the same time yet so much of life presents us with just that paradox.
yesterday as i prepared to officiate at my friend mary's memorial , i was filled with sadness because she died so young and unnecessarily....
as i opened the living room blind, early in the morning what greeted me was the beauty of new life in all the amazing blossoms that fill my yard.

i cut a lot of roses and the house is filled with the beautiful smell of them and the exquisite aroma of lilacs which totally delight me every year for a couple of weeks.

over 250 people filled the Hayes mansion ballroom for Mary's celebration of life and there was laughter and lots of tears as people shared their memories of a truly remarkable woman.....
it is hard to believe she has died - it is not real to any of us yet....
i hope in the days to come the beauty of flowers like these that i see every day around me can keep the memory of her alive.

one of her greatest gifts was her incredible gardens filled with orchids, roses and may other flowers....
another way my memories are kept alive is when my grandsons come to visit and ask for the giant container of Legos stored under my bed.... when tim and chris were quite young and my husband was out of work one christmas, mary showed up at the door with the largest sets of Legos one could buy to make their christmas more special.... the thousands of pieces sill bring joy to my 3 little boys....
blessed be her journey and may her spirit guide us to love one another more deeply with compassion and nonjudgment...