morning glory

this is what greets me in the morning as i raise my bedroom shade....a tree i planted a few years ago to remind me of the east where leaves change.... i didn't know the leaves did this - i bought it because when it blooms it has large white "snowball" flowers that we had in our yard growing up.....i didn't remember the leaves changing.... when i see it - besides being in awe of the beauty, i need to remind myself how my life has changed this year.... how i've had to change how i live at so many levels... how i face struggle and pain...how i try to begin a different life's journey... i have a fierce grief about not having my job - i miss it terribly - i have frustration at my body not being what it used to be i have lonliness at being home so much i have fear with every new pain i have fatigue i never had i have helplessness at all there is to do in the house and yard soon the leaves will fall and new buds will begin to form i wonder if there are buds of new life coming my way... meanwhile i dwell in this present beauty.