the vigil goes on

Inger is now on morphine every 2 hours.....and pretty incoherent.....today she didn't want any water or food.....

the family is of course stressed to the limit and i am spending more and more time with them
I went to the grocery store and cooked dinner for 8 tonite.....
it's quite chaotic when everyone is around as everyone is doing grief in their own way and they are not always kind to each other.....
even the dog is pacing - knowing something is going on......her brother arrived from Idaho yestereay - they spent a long time talking and telling each other the things they needed to say....and then today she hasn't spoken a word....except very strong NO to water and food.....
my radiologist visit today brought me extra stress
I was told to make an appointment for a biopsy as there is some kind of calcium "thing"they don't like to see.....it could be nothing but needs to be biopsied.....it's on the other breast......not the one where they removed the cancer.....
i was pretty shook up with the news.....
these words by one of my favorite writers seem to fit today.... it's called BLESSING and i offer it to myself.....

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

~John O'Donohue