vigil

i was awakened once again at 7:30 a.m. with Inger's daughter needing help to change not only her diaper but all the sheets and pads on the bed..... i'm trying hard to protect my body as we roll her and try to keep her clean and comfortable....she gets really feisty and yells at us...so this morning i tried a trick my kids have taught that they use with my grandchildren..... "In 3 minutes, we're going to change you and clean your bed"...it worked like a charm....
she isn't very aware of time as such so we only waited a minute or so and then began the rolling ritual......
the hospice nurse said yesterday that she is really slipping.... only sipping a couple of swallows of ensure each day..... and it wouldn't be much longer - but she is still pretty strong and i believe she is waiting for her estranged twin brother to arrive from Idaho this coming wed.......
we have talked a tiny bit about her memorial service - mostly she leaves it up to the kids - only 1 of whom really wants to deal with it....
we do have some plans made... and she seems to be happy that i will be the officiant.....
all of the pain in my body is worse and of course i am exhausted....
this morning i get a break from "on call duty" for Ronan's 4th birthday "party".....it will be a happy time to be surrounded by precious little people and my family.....