The Winter of Listening by David Whyte

Carla who who feels like a friend and from whom i buy a lot of candles-(check out the beautiful WINTER one) has one of my very favorite blogs.-she posted this and i remembered how much i liked it...and all of David Whyte's poems

No one but me by the fire,
my hands burning
red in the palms while
the night wind carries
everything away outside.

All this petty worry
while the great cloak
of the sky grows dark
and intense
round every living thing.

What is precious
inside us does not
care to be known
by the mind
in ways that diminish
its presence.

What we strive for
in perfection
is not what turns us
into the lit angel
we desire,

what disturbs
and then nourishes
has everything
we need.

What we hate
in ourselves
is what we cannot know
in ourselves but
what is true to the pattern
does not need
to be explained.

Inside everyone
is a great shout of joy
waiting to be born.

Even with the summer
so far off
I feel it grown in me
now and ready
to arrive in the world.

All those years
listening to those
who had
nothing to say.

All those years
forgetting
how everything
has its own voice
to make
itself heard.

All those years
forgetting
how easily
you can belong
to everything
simply by listening.

And the slow
difficulty
of remembering
how everything
is born from
an opposite
and miraculous
otherness.
Silence and winter
has led me to that
otherness.

So let this winter
of listening
be enough
for the new life
I must call my own.

David Whyte

with humble gratitude

2 news stories on pbs greeted my morning on the way to an 8 a.m. dental appt-both of which filled me with gratitude and a humble awareness of the blessedness surrounding me.....
50,000 people in New Hampshire will not have power thru christmas......no lights, no way to cook christmas dinner, no heat........ and i have a fit when 1 string of about 1000 lights goes out on my tree..........
82 homeless people who died on the streets of s.f. were remembered in a memorial yesterday-and i feel overwhelmed at the clutter filling my space and home-all this space and all mine........
it is so easy for me to get carried away at this time of year -
i overdue everything from decorating and shopping and then feel guilty... i work hard every day on my addictive personality but it doesn't always work........i did put out only about 1/2 of my ms anna claus and angel collection and the muppet ornaments are not all on the tree......
a very difficult thing for me to do....
my prayer is for all those who lack the blessings that i try to be grateful for each moment
i wish i could be more comfortable with the simple life..........
those in N.H and on the streets everywhere have no choice but to know what that means

contrasts

a play day with ben was sure a study in contrasts........
autumn leaves-cool crisp weather-
leave piles-

bare bottoms

-and bundling up for a trip to christmas in the park.....
and in between
constructing the manger

...
.and sending the polar express on its way......

.
i'll be in bed early tonite !

on the road again

another trip 45 minutes south to the lymphedema clinic for a fitting for a compression piece for my swollen breast. it is the same black padded heavy material sewn in criss cross fashion to move the fluids that are trapped in my breast on the surgery side.
the way they keep explaining it to me is that the the whole quadrant of my body has been affected by radiation and the lymphatic fluids are just plain stuck and backed up forever.
the 2x weekly of MLD (manual lymphatic drainage) with the physical therapist and wearing these damn garments are what tries to keep things at bay and maintain the swelling.
in order to wear the breast piece, i had to get mastectomy bras which has a "pocket" (usually for a prosthesis) in which to insert this compression piece. you can imagine how classy and great thislooks under clothes..... so many things i can't wear without looking like some kind of monster.... i choose to skip the garment for special occasions out.....
some people have fanny packs - i have a booby pack !
the bras are expensive and then the fitting fee on top of that set me back once again.....not covered by any insurance even tho this is definitely treatment.......
so way over $100 later - i 'm on the road again -hopefully to keep my upper quadrant working.....
the road is hard and long and sadly there is no end to this journey.........