STRANGE BODIES

what strange bodies we have..... i have no way of knowing from one day to the next what mine will do....
yesterday wa a nightmare -a seemingly all day panic attack- spent most of the day in bed restless, crying, shaking and scared......
today i actually got "dressed up" meaning earrings, bracelets and a hat and visited some friends at the dance studio..... It was nice to collect hugs and know I've been missed.
it is very hard not to be able to trust my body as it is hard to make any plans.....
hopefully with the radiation treatments almost over, it will be more secure in its behavior....
I hate the endless panic attacks which come out of no where for no reason.....