some days the missing is overwhelming
then i have to remember
what i taught others for many years
as a grief educator and counselor....
Grief is a natural response to loss
it ebbs and flows like the tide
whirling us in spirals....
dragging us down into its undertow
today i am missing...
- seeing my little boys as often as i wish
- seeing my sons and their wives as often as i wish
- family and friends that are far away
- dancing
- driving
- working in the yard
- cooking my favorite foods
- freedom
- feeling good
- strength to do simple chores
- shopping
- the beach
- fingers that aren't numb
- legs that don't ache
- a stomach that will let me eat anything
- sleeping peacefully
- eyes that are clear from discharge and dripping
- a shower without a panic attack
- getting dressed up to go out
- sitting in the sun
each and all of these will become more possible
as the days go by
and treatment changes....
for now
i grieve and ache
for them......
About Me
- eileen
- San Jose, California, United States
- Passionate woman whose life is blessed with 2 incredible sons and their awesome wives, 3 amazing grandsons, sisters and brothers who love one another, an unbelievable circle of friends, dancing, a rose garden, a beautful home filled with lots of things I love... all of which tender me to healing and wholeness.
2 comments:
It's interesting that we don't appreciate these simple things until we no longer can do them. Ain't it the way. I remember when Bob was ill. The thing he missed most was working....while most of us didn't want to get up every day and go to work. When he lost the ability to do just that, he missed it terribly. I guess there's a lesson in life that we should be drawing from our experiences. I wish we could be grateful every minute of the day for all we have and all we're able to do on a daily basis. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks for your e-mail, Eileen -- I was able to get to your blog this time (somehow it didn't work the last time I heard from you). Be assured that you are in my heart. I thought of you this weekend as Liz and I were over at Santa Sabina acting as substitute staff so Harriet and Susannah could get away for a weekend. H. has been diagnosed with lymphoma and has just finished chemo. She said, I've missed you and would love to talk but I have to go to bed now and rest up from the journey home. Her words were a gift, as I know that even talking wears her out right now. I will continue to send support for the intensity of what you miss as well as for any moments of ease -- and hoping those increase over time. Love, Carolyn Foster
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