PAIN PIT

No one talks much about the pain associated with chemo..i do have a lot of the traditional symptoms - scaley skin, sometimes nausea, horrific fatigue, watery gooey eyes that prevent me from reading much, numb fingers, loss of hair etc....but what is really awful these days is the pain from the TAXOL chemo which for me has caused pretty severe pelvic, leg, shoulder and forearm pain - combined with the pain from NEULASTA...throw in the broken shoulder pain, the overuse pain of the other arm and i'm living in one big pain pit ....
I am taking pretty strong doses of pain medication but it only takes the littlest bit of edge off and doesn't give a lot of relief....In reading about this pain, many people have it continue for a long time after the last treatment...of course that plays into my fears for the future....
I long to be able to stay in the present and live in the moment.... but pain is a strong pull in other directions...

Thich Nhat Hanh:
Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.