I used his blessing for grief as part of a healing circle for a group of us when our friend Mary died.
It is true that grief begets grief as his words brought to mind so many griefs that have left the ground beneath me fragile....
the death of parents
death of friends
end of a marriage
the loss of a job
friends that are far away
diagnosis of cancer
months of treatment that has left me exhausted
2 broken shoulders
constant head to toe pain as a side effect of post cancer drugs
onset of lymphedema as a result of the cancer surgery......
and many more big and small griefs that creep into daily life.....
The picture shows my friend Inger's house across the street as every morning I watch as everything in the house is taken out, broken up and gone.....it's as if she is being tossed away.... when i raise the blind each morning the grief is there.....
I invite you to discover the work of John O Donohue and in the words of my 4 yr old grandson Ben, acknowledge whatever grief there is in your life and say out loud "Crying is OK!
When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you gets fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
and some dead echo drags your voice down
where words have no confidence.
Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
no one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
Flickers of guilt kindle regret For all that was left unsaid or undone.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief
It becomes hard to trust yourself
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.
From To Bless the Space Between Us by John O DonohueYour life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you gets fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
and some dead echo drags your voice down
where words have no confidence.
Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
no one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
Flickers of guilt kindle regret For all that was left unsaid or undone.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief
It becomes hard to trust yourself
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.
