BALANCE

today we celebrate the autumn equinox - the day when dark and light are equal -balance...........when we acknowledge the harvest of our gifts...
.....this harvest festival traditionally applies to the harvest of foods, yet in this day and age, the 'harvest' may also apply to the 'seeds of dreams and wishes' that were planted many months earlier. Now is the time to see if they have come true. Whether they have come true or not ... a ritual to thank the growing energies of the divine could be performed at this time. Lay upon your altar a sampling of your 'harvest'.... use it freely in a simple ritual........ even if your 'harvest' came up empty, IE: your dreams were not fulfilled, the God and Goddess should still be thanked for the effort put forth in your name.......
my dream of less pain and more energy have not at all been fulfilled - in fact the pain is pretty bad most days and nites.....yet i face the coming change of season with the hope that change can happen in my body......
i lay in bed every nite with the pain from head to toe..... especially in my legs, arms and back
thinking i'll get up and write about it.... but i don't have the energy.....
i lay there crying......what can i do with this pain....? how can i get it to be less? what can i do to keep moving the next day?
mornings , getting out of bed are awful - it takes a few hours to be able to move about.....
the medication that i take every 4 hours is a narcotic which i hate taking AND it doesn't seem to do much but take the edge off....certainly doesn't take the pain away......
there is still no certainty as to what is causing the pain - POLYMYALGIA, the medication Aromosin, arthritis, lymphedema or....???????
the beautiful full moon is watching me as i write.....she is a beautiful sign of light and hope....
I want to believe in that light and that hope......but constant pain is such a strong pull in the direction of dark.........
i haven't written much here lately as i know from the lack of response at anything but happy posts are not what people want to hear.....
pictures and posts of roses and 3 precious little boys are what people want to see and hear.......
i so wish that was the real story of life all the time, but sorry to say the pain way overwhelms everything else most days and nights......
may the light of the moon and balance of the equinox bring me strength and more hope......