the hard part

it's that time again = laying in bed and hurting a lot....every nite i want to get up and write about the pain - and i don't - tonite i did get up.....
tonite is a particularly hard one -not sure why
pain everywhere which i assume is the drugs and/or polymyalgia, but tonite the lymphedema is aching a lot...arm, hand, fingers.....i even looked it up again to see if i was crazy and read an article on the "truncal" lymphedema pain which i have in my right breast and chest and shoulder....it's very real and often worse than the pain in the arm....so i just lay there and hurt - i pack on ice as the physical therapist suggests that versus heat...i need to do some more reading on that.....
the internet is loaded with lymphedema pages -but they are overwhelming to read so i haven't done a lot of research - i just kind of ignore it as much as i can which is nearly impossible because of the compression sleeve and the pain
i am so very tired of pain and the pain medication that doesn't really work.............
tonite i can't stop crying................................
the beautiful autumn day and the flower arrangements i worked on are a fond memory